Platonic Honeymoon

They’ve come up with another
Clever scheme to set her free.
They’ll get engaged! Her parents,

Panicked by her coming out,
Might well welcome any boy
In a storm, even this one.

Once married, she’ll settle down,
Right, be a Christian woman,
Repent of preferring girls

Or not shame her family
At least. So what if he’s young
And she’s younger, both still teens?

Over the phone, they agree,
And then plan out the visit
As chance for him to propose.

It works! Her folks go for it,
Give the marriage their blessing,
And set about planning it

For next summer in their church.
The co-conspirators grin
And joke about it in code.

Once she’s married, she’ll be free
To seek out girls on the side.
The only hitch in their plan

Comes later, when his mother
Discovers he’s had a date
With another, local girl,

And is horrified her son
Would cheat on his fiancée.
But they get past that. One night

In June finds them, newlyweds
Driving through the Green Mountains,
Cackling at their great caper,

Arriving at a tavern
In deep woods by the roadside
With a Pabst Blue Ribbon sign

Glowing in the dark. The bar
Shines, reflecting the whiskeys
They’re too young to be drinking.