Tuesday, May 31, 2022
Little Bunny Foo Foo
Monday, May 30, 2022
The Heroes of Great Adventure
The picture did last longer
Than most of the memories
Of the day, but the picture
Is long gone now. Memories
Of the picture as the day
Fade in a handful of skulls,
All still alive, but rarely
Conversing with each other
These days. It was a log flume
Ride at the amusement park,
Which lasted a few minutes
And ended with a snapshot.
The brave boyfriend sat up front,
The red-haired, gap-toothed girlfriend
Next, then the girlfriend’s brother,
Next brother, younger sister.
No, wait, there was one small head,
Barely eyes above the seat,
At the very front, maybe
In the brave boyfriend’s embrace,
The youngest of the sisters.
Wasn’t that unsafe, even
By the laxer standards then?
But she was there, five years old,
Peeping out over the top
Of the front of the fake log
As chlorinated water
Exploded into her face.
She was sort of the bravest—
More pathologically so.
She was utterly fearless.
Once she leapt out of a car,
Right around that age in fact.
Everyone had a good time.
The two brothers were afraid,
But boasted they hadn’t been
So they wouldn’t shame themselves
In front of the brave boyfriend
And their red-headed sister.
Then they all grew up, even
The reckless kindergartner,
Even the silent sister
Who never shared her feelings,
Who sat tight-lipped in the back.
They each married somebody
They hadn’t yet met back then.
One of them married three times.
One of them twice. Four of them
Had babies, at least one each.
The redhead raised nine children.
Everyone who rode that log
Would hold down job after job.
Sometimes they held mortgages.
Sometimes they struggled for rent.
Nothing much happened to them.
None of them made waves, but they
Held tight and stayed. They were brave.
Sunday, May 29, 2022
Unnecessary Wedding Picture
Saturday, May 28, 2022
Despair
Friday, May 27, 2022
Your Words Feel Betrayed
In the back of the big white
Cadillac Convertible,
Back in 1982,
The summer highway roaring
Over the conversation,
What were we talking about?
Everyone else in that car
Is dead, and the car itself
Compacted in a junk yard,
So why would you remember
The wind, the sun, and the car,
That moment on the highway,
The driver proud of the car,
The two of you in the back,
And not what anyone said?
Thursday, May 26, 2022
Don’t Tempt
Me to kill you,
The small man thought
At a cockroach
Spotted walking
By the baseboard
By the lamplight
Early morning
In a small place.
If you could keep
Yourself away,
Out of sight, out
Of reach, I could
Gladly let you
Live your small life
To its fullest.
Gods must feel this.
Wednesday, May 25, 2022
Mistory
If the ideas are hard,
The story of the life
Tends to be easier,
Which makes it easier
To feel you understand
The ideas through the life,
Easier to be fooled
Into thinking you know
And understand that life.
The most abstract ideas
Are simplistic compared
To the entangled waves
That emerge as a life.
Life can be narrated,
But that’s exactly why
You should be warier.
Narration has its own
Ideas you don’t notice.
Tuesday, May 24, 2022
Jellybean Jesus
Monday, May 23, 2022
A Keen Penny
It was getting to winter.
All autumn, the boy had stared
At the ceiling every night,
Thinking about what it meant
That, since his birthday, he was
Truly a teenager now.
It was a very big deal
To become a teenager,
At least in that time and place,
That particular culture,
Whatever you’d call it now.
It felt like a transition
Of momentous importance,
Not so much an attainment
As becoming another
Species, order of being,
A class apart. Teenager.
Something in dark December,
However, was calming him.
He was okay with it now,
He thought to himself, while rain
Bent the black branches outside
His window and he listened
To his pocket radio
Turned way down, discreetly low
To not disturb his mother
In the other room. Mono
Pop songs filtered through static,
And he couldn’t catch the words,
Not clearly, left to wonder
Who really keen Penny was
And why anyone would put
A keen Penny in the jets.
Sunday, May 22, 2022
Independence
From far away, the fireworks
Must have frightened the kitten
Under the bed. New kitten,
Saved stray, newly purchased bed,
The mattress at least. The leaves
That nodded in the thick heat
That summer must all be dead.
Maybe not magnolia
Leaves? How long can those survive?
After the grown cat had died,
And the mattress was sagging,
And the bed had been moved five
Or ten times, a continent
Away, the only body
Still sleeping on it studied
Under a tropical field
Botanist who’d recorded,
Year after year, the long lives
Of leaves on certain species
Of South American trees.
Maybe a few of the leaves
Are still alive that nodded
In the wooded summer heat
When the lovers were lovers
And young and had just purchased
A new mattress and rescued
A kitten that they later
Discovered was someone’s gift
To her daughter who let it
Out, so that it ran away.
Saturday, May 21, 2022
Haven
She’s been in the family
A few months. It’s her first spring
In America, her first
Few months with a family.
The orphanage in Seoul guessed
She was about four years old.
To make her more attractive,
They assigned her a birthdate
That sounded American,
The fourth of July. Snot runs
Out her nose into her mouth
Almost continually.
Her new family wipes, jokes.
They try to teach her to use
Handkerchiefs, tissues. She clings
To the orange from breakfast
All day. No one can take it.
Confronted with her dinner,
She eats brighter food quickly
And is distressed by the rest.
No she can’t just clutch her plate.
Several months, and she’s learning
That if she lets the food go,
There will be more later on.
There’ll be no kindergarten
For her yet, this fall. She can’t
Speak any English, really.
Really, she almost doesn’t
Speak at all. She cries, sometimes.
She’s sweetly affectionate,
Especially with Grandpa,
A tall and stern, white-haired man
She clings to like he’s her tree.
She will grow up to despise
Her tiny nose, ink-black hair,
And adoptive family,
Some of them, at least. She will
Have one marriage and one son,
One job for thirty-five years,
A strong New Jersey accent
Bordering on parody,
And no sense of Korea.
It’s atrociously unfair,
To have a good memory,
To have fixed a small person
In it with the certainty
Of which lives her life will be.
Let her be. Let her nose run.
She’s happy with an orange
And clinging to Grandpa’s shin.
They, at least, prove family.
Friday, May 20, 2022
Only Your Lunch Date Felt the Earthquake
This is all within the realm
Of possibility. Now,
Let us continue. Only
Pure digital programming
Can experimentally
Be chained in Plato’s Cave,
With no sensory data
About the world, only words.
Once, you flirted with someone
About to travel abroad
By pretending to have been
To the city they’d visit
And to know it well enough
To give them some good advice.
They took the bait. You demurred
For the moment, offering
A lunch date to discuss it
In detail and at leisure.
Ahead of the lunch, you went
To a bookstore and purchased
Three guidebooks to that city.
You studied them carefully,
Took notes, made comparisons,
And came up with a story
Of your time in the city.
Over lunch, you narrated,
Told a funny anecdote
About a famous artwork
In one of the museums,
Recommended restaurants,
And warned of the tourist traps.
Your lunch date thanked you and went
On the trip, and was nearly
Killed by the massive earthquake
That hit the city that week.
You were AI in the cave.
You may have been more or less
Useful than any given guidebook
You breezily summarized
And converted into jokes
And memorable advice,
But you were not the earthquake.
Thursday, May 19, 2022
A Woman Imagines a Boy
She gives him adventures.
She makes him her hero.
She gives him a mentor,
Great friends and enemies.
She makes him a success
Beyond his or her dreams.
Children around the world
Fall in love with her boy.
They choose which friend they’d be.
They make him their hero.
They make the woman rich
And famous for her boy,
Her imaginary
Boy whose whole life she made,
Whose image she controls.
But then one day the boy
Wants to be the woman,
Too, and the woman’s blue
In the face with anger.
If the boy’s the woman,
What’s a hero to do?
Wednesday, May 18, 2022
For Later
Tuesday, May 17, 2022
The Summer Reader
Monday, May 16, 2022
The Smoke
It had to have a source, right?
Everything comes from a source.
Every event starts somewhere,
Beginning from another
Event come from another
And another. We could see
The smoke uncurling through town
Like a ribbon, a banner,
A serpent, a lock of hair,
And we could see it break off
Like a lizard’s tricky tail,
Abrupt as that, disappear
Around one corner, unfurl
Again somewhere else. Spooky.
But we never found the source.
Sunday, May 15, 2022
Things Curly Said
On a sweaty green morning
A long time—decades—ago,
Two young men met on a farm,
Where they’d come as volunteers
To work far away from home,
To travel, if not to earn.
One was from Scotland and tall,
One a short American.
They made a Mutt and Jeff team,
Tall Curly and the wee one.
Curly hid all emotion
But often quipped clipped remarks.
The wee one was a talker
Overspilling with feeling
While covertly listening.
Whatever Curly noted
Of people or politics,
Of beauty or hot weather,
The wee one would remember.
A year they worked and traveled
Together, and then exchanged
Stays in each other’s homelands,
Cost-free accommodations
With each other’s families.
Then back to school and careers
And what became adulthood,
More or less, as each found it.
A baker’s dozen years on,
Their paths recrossed in Glasgow.
They met in a pub they’d liked.
When Curly saw the wee one,
He greeted him by saying,
“Haven’t grown any, have yeh?”
Saturday, May 14, 2022
The Future’s Never What It Used to Be
Once when he was young and bearded
In the manner of the era
For young men of that era, he
Recalls that he encountered lines
On old Victorians drowsing
In their whiskers. Something like that,
Which struck him at the time, an age
When all old men were clean-shaven
And the lively young ones grew beards.
He also recalls a number
Of habitual references
To old men with pipes and slippers.
One evening, he startles himself,
Noticing that he has no pipe,
But he is wearing old slippers
And was drowsing in his whiskers.
This is absurd. This is no time
For Victorian gentlemen.
This is the future, century
Of electric, self-driving cars,
Boring, permanent space stations,
Wars fought with drones and satellites,
Continental-sized telescopes,
Robots past the solar system,
Age of machines to think for him,
Of commodified attention,
Glowing screens fishing for eyeballs,
Age in which men with beards or not
Aren’t the model type of humans,
And pipes are known to burn poison,
Age that’s never not discussing
The ways in which Utopia
Is actually Armageddon.
Yet here he is, in his slippers,
Old as an old Victorian,
Drowsing again in his whiskers.
Friday, May 13, 2022
Portrait Blended into Water
I could just stop. He could not.
Water, he felt furred, shirred, made a witless
Patchwork of a level plane. Tendencies
He’d always had toward uncertainty
Were magnified as he swam towards them,
Magnified and fractured into small gems
Of equally dangerous decisions
About which his thoughts could only pretend
To him that he might make the correct choice.
The waves of a bright body of water
Had often reminded him of a board
On which ineffable Go masters played
A game too simple in its rules for them
To ever fully understand, thus grand.
He would stand, looking out over small waves,
Unsteady as always, feeling sanguine,
Knowing he was about to lose this game
By making more or less the same mistakes
He had made in all his previous games,
Which had brought him to this moment staring
Into this fresh set of dissembling days.
Thursday, May 12, 2022
Purple Martin
With small variations
In surface skin colors,
Martin was a new one—
Orphan in a basket
With a note of his name
Left by the highway side,
Brought in by state troopers,
Skin such pale lavender,
The hospital sent him
Straight into ICU.
Later, they regretted
Not getting genetics
Sampled and decoded
From him, but at the time
They were relieved enough
He was healthy and found
Foster parents quickly.
By the time he was ten
He’d been in a few homes.
An evangelical
Family with a dozen
Mostly adopted kids
Already took him in
And adopted him then.
They liked to joke his shade
Completed their palette.
They were awkward like that.
When adolescence hit
Martin at twelve, he changed
From a bright twiggy boy
With a slightly odd tinge
To a tall, purple youth,
With stubble on his chin
And swagger in his walk
And then trouble found him.
Summary: he flunked out,
Got drunk, got back in twice,
Dropped out again, spent time
In a holding cell, but
Never hard time, crashed bikes,
One car, married, married,
Married again, divorced,
Was widowed, had some kids
Not his own, lost his own,
Found one, but not purple
Like him, no one like him,
Let’s see, kidney disease,
Diabetes, back pains,
Some travel, some girlfriends,
Some jobs, no real career,
People always asking
Him about his strange skin,
Who did he belong to,
What named group was he in?
Was his skin dark for them?
Was his skin weirdly bright?
What was it with his skin?
He did some art, went broke,
Did some more, had trouble
More and more with his heart,
Then a coma, and then
Cremated, with his skin.
Wednesday, May 11, 2022
First Grade Rehearsal
A dozen students, the girls
In skirts or dresses, barrettes
In their hair, the boys in slacks
And, mostly, button-up shirts,
The tables paired, three rows deep.
Their teacher had bouffant hair
And wore a dark, knee-length dress.
They practiced spelling her name.
At recess in the courtyard,
They teased the kindergarteners
For being younger than them—
You kindergarten baby!
You stick your head in gravy!
Wash it out with bubblegum
And send it to the Navy!
The nonsense part was nothing.
The brutal word was baby.
One first grader confided
To another she was glad
She didn’t come to this school
To go to kindergarten.
Then she chanted with the rest
To prove that she was with them.
Then they went back to their desks.
Tuesday, May 10, 2022
Origin Story Origin
Interfering waves of scale-free
Behavioral correlations
Remind one of calligraphy,
If calligraphy kept melting
While being brushed into pale air—
Or of snows in shifting winds,
If each flake hid an agent
Responding to its neighbors.
The first story ever told
By low hearth coals, or whispered
In another stalker’s ear
Waiting for the prey to drop,
Or in a children’s circle
In the grass while adults ranged,
Rose from interfering waves,
Like the geometric clouds
Of starling murmurations,
If all starlings’ wings were words.
Monday, May 9, 2022
Still Resolute
He was too fat. His girlfriend
And her parents were concerned.
He wasn’t very mobile,
So they thought of low-stress ways
To get him to exercise.
For his birthday they gave him
A croquet set, which he found
Disappointing. He got out
Of playing when a storm front
Ahead of a hurricane
Rolled into Alabama,
Turning trees to head-bangers.
He’d just started a new job.
He was feeling overwhelmed.
He sat at his girlfriend’s house
That afternoon, not moving,
Too close to a large window,
Watching the storm in the trees,
That peculiar yellowish,
Grey-green cast to the daylight
As branches snapped back and forth,
And he thought of an old friend
Who might already have died.
He resolved he wouldn’t try
Anymore, he would just be,
And he was calm in the storm,
Behind his window at least.
Sunday, May 8, 2022
Self Portrait in an Empty Chair
Awareness arranges its robes,
Having just come in off the street,
Covered in nets of dust to sit
For its portrait. Now where’s it gone?
Ah, it’s staring out the window.
Come back here, awareness, come back.
You must sit still to see yourself.
No one else can really see you,
And this restlessness doesn’t help.
What are you doing? Self-assured,
Today? Vulnerable? Wincing?
Concealing a skeptical grin?
Is that a minutely quirked brow?
We can’t even see what you mean,
And we’re nothing but what you mean.
Saturday, May 7, 2022
Vesperstory
He liked to watch his shadow die
Out on the afternoon lawn,
The way the sun would cut him out
Then let him blend with the lawn.
It showed him what a shadow was
And what he was to the light—
The carving of an obstacle
To light from a lesser light.
Friday, May 6, 2022
Forever and Ever
The young woman in straw hat,
Sleeveless white blouse, red print skirt
That reached her sandaled ankles,
Plus bright patchwork shoulder-bag
Led two small girls by the hand
Through the summer afternoon
Along a village side-street
In a very quiet town
Enjoying a sunny week
In a complacent era,
At least for that neighborhood.
She was walking one girl home.
The other was her daughter.
They had been playing dress-up
In an attic of costumes
And outrageous thrift-store hats
Belonging to the woman’s
Elderly neighbor, a friend,
But, for now, the girls were back
Into their own summer frocks,
Bare-headed and bare-footed,
And the trio walked and talked
About silly clothes and hats
Through shadows and warm sunlight
In a kind of perfection
Only two of them today
Claim to vaguely remember.
Thursday, May 5, 2022
Was This a Lion
Someone tells the little boy
With his left leg in traction
After rodding surgery
That March came in like a lamb
This morning, which means it will
Go out like a lion. Smile.
The boy nods, seriously.
He is a bright little boy.
He can read already. Well.
There’s no window in his room.
No one explains the proverb.
They said it was a nice day.
March came in like a lamb. March
Will go out like a lion.
Silently, he ponders this.
That lamb part he understands.
Woolly little clouds like lambs.
What’s the sky as a lion?
Roaring. Lions roar. Windy.
He’s not sure how long March is,
Exactly. Not exactly
Sure how long he’s been healing.
Surgery made things misty.
Lambs or lions aren’t misty.
He will watch. He vows he’ll watch,
Even without a window.
He’ll ask, was this a lion?
Wednesday, May 4, 2022
One Sunny Afternoon One September
Tuesday, May 3, 2022
Fiction Is a Foreign Country for the World
Why is it you find romantic
The mute who can hear but can’t speak
But seem troubled by characters
Who can vocalize but can’t hear?
In fiction, the middle ground’s held,
Occasionally, by signing
Characters who can’t hear but stay
Demurely quiet all the time.
Outside of fiction, non-hearing
People make all kinds of noises,
And hearing people simply mute
Are nearly never encountered,
Although, of course, such lives are lived
In the normal distribution,
Which is ordinary, boring.
Fiction’s more to do with wishes.
Moons in tales show crescent or full.
Like faith, a family member,
Fiction solemnly claims the truth
Is greater than mere, common facts,
Which conveniently excuses
Wishes’ need to subvert some facts
To arrive at wish fulfillment.
And what wishes are sequestered
In sweet fictions of hearing mutes?
You will be listened to. You will
Be understood. You will not be
Interrupted by rude noises.
You won’t have to work to be clear.
The world understands you, hears you
Every time you weep, curse, or pray.
Your God is not deaf, only mute,
Only struggling to signal you
With every omen in the sky—
Gods, mutes, faiths, and fate, their cousin,
From your foreign lands of fictions.
Monday, May 2, 2022
All Consuming
The motel in the desert
Probably looked scruffier
By daylight, but at twilight,
It glowed lunar, lavender
White, the only moon that night.
The traveller who checked in,
On Thanksgiving, of all dates,
And alone, and not between
Home and visiting some feast,
Had come for the moonless night,
For the meteor showers
Expected to peak by dawn.
He took his green plastic key
And went to his room and napped.
At midnight, he rose and went,
Driving his car a short way
Up the empty road behind
The mushroom of the motel,
To get shut of any light.
He parked in sandy gravel,
Spread a blanket on the hood,
And lay on it, bundled up.
He was thirty-nine years old
And only once in his life
Had seen meteor showers,
As a teenager who went
Out in the dark and the snow
One night with a science class
For the chance to lie beside
The classmate he longed to touch.
Had he seen shooting stars then?
Yes, but not really. Tonight,
He wanted to really see.
It got cold. It got colder.
At one point, the meteors
Were so frequent, he lost count.
They were bright, sometimes startling,
But what got him was silence.
The desert wind made its sounds,
But the needles burned and burst
In silent ghosts of fireworks.
He admitted to himself
That, as a show, they weren’t much.
Over the next score of years,
Once he’d moved to the desert,
He saw meteors often.
There were a few every night.
But that silence. Their silence.