I Am a Violin Played by a Hair Dryer

I didn't write one word of this. I planned
And, once I had planned it, it existed.
Goldsmith generated the actual
Text you will likely never be reading

When he was giving a talk at Princeton
That went viral on social media
After a celebrity mimicked him
And another thousand immigrants drowned

Somewhere between the razor-wired borders
Of monorhymed jihadist verse, comic
Haiku contests describing weird Utahns,
And the heartfelt graffiti of the young.