Charles Cornwall, ex-Mormon, once told me
That the best time to go to Costco
Was early Sunday morning, because
"Only the early-rising heathens
Are out running errands at that hour.
Damn few heathens are early risers."
I went on Friday to get a cake.
There were no parking spaces open,
Certainly not any handicap.
Senior citizens filled the pavement
And milled about like geese on a pond.
I struggled in and found the baker
Who kindly carried the cake for me
To the parade of shopping carts lined
Before the self-pay cash register.
I got through, got the cake to the car.
The cake was a monstrous white slab
A friend had wanted for a party
To celebrate another friend's book.
The book portrayed virtues and vices
By means of anecdotes and research.
I drove the cake an hour to Rockville
And delivered it safely, relieved.
The next morning, a piece in tinfoil
Was waiting for my daughter and me.
We had stayed home but my wife had gone
To the launch and saved us some sugar.
It was delightfully disgusting.
My wife said she had found just the right
Line to write on it: "To Gluttony."