Your Server Today

"If you tell people up front that something might be distasteful, the odds are good that they will end up agreeing with you."

To begin with, I must apologize 
For the sour acidity of this poem.
I've laced it with droplets of pure envy
And a little balsamic vinegar.

I had intended to write something good,
But you know what a busy world this is,
And I like to get chores out of the way.
So here you go. I'll be back with your bill.

By the way, there are other poems, you know,
Good ones, well-seasoned ones, perfectly aged,
Rich with imagery, pathos, and insight,
Made from original ingredients.

Not here, of course, but around the corner
In a charming independent bookshop
With high ceilings, ladders, and oaken shelves,
A wonderful selection of volumes,

Formal, political, personal, sweet,
And savory on the tongue, all printed
On acid-free pages, bound in leather
Or in elegant paperback covers

With encomia and thoughtful portraits
Of black-and-white poets, slightly pensive
On the back, if still living, in small squares,
Or taking up the front cover, if dead.

Well, no, of course you don't have to read this,
But you've already finished most of it,
So I'm afraid I'll still have to charge you
Even if you send what little's left back