Hear No Helpful, See No Helpful, Do No Helpful

I met a guru with no disciples
Working in a laundromat
Who sagely informed me that
Hamlet had the right question
And all others were trifles.
He hadn't answered it yet.

I met a bro-dude in Moab
Sporting a hippy-length beard,
Curled and coiffed as a cavalier,
Who wore his philosophy
On his brand-new, bright-blue
T-shirt: "Your ego is not
Your amigo," it sneered.

I met a beige wall of dust and wind
Blowing outside a Walmart
In Grand Junction. It said nothing
For all that it had a huge voice.
I didn't have the heart to start
To question so inhuman a thing,
As if I had any choice.