The Imperative Shuffle

Teach me how to walk in the dark.
Sooner or later, someone whose opinion
Matters to you, very much, will
No longer cross your mind. Sooner
Or later, you will no longer annoy
Anyone either. Sooner or later,
Never.
                  And don't you go saying
I'm dying on you now. There's a lot
More nevers between now and then
And in every now and then than
In being dead alone.
                                          It's not
As easy as leaving for good and all
All at once. There's a lot of stumbling
And oops, and mistaking the floor
For an easy chair in the ordinary
Black of a backwater night.
                                                          No,
I'm not saying you, I, or anyone
Has to go right this moment.  But
I've already forgotten the names
Of half of those who remain.  Let me
Shuffle the cards in my mind a while,
Pretend it's all the fault
Of that knock on the noggin
I took from the wall.
                                        Let me enjoy this
Thing of mine, even as I despise it.
The greatest delight I have is in being
Happy with what cannot please me.
Let's just see what happens next.