Small birds, lizards, mule deer
Wander up to the door,
Then skitter on their way.
The cats are never there
At the opportune time
For good window viewing,
Which is just as well. Keep
The worlds separated
And no one gets hurt, hey?
What nonsense. The outside
Critters have predators.
The indoor cats are stalked
Like all protected beasts
By time and diseases.
So why the entryway?
Friday, June 30, 2023
The Entryway
Thursday, June 29, 2023
The Light on the Pavement
Should not be beautiful,
Or at least the pavement
Shouldn’t be beautiful,
But this strip through the green
Near the top of the park,
Left unplowed all winter,
A scenic tourist drive
From late spring to autumn,
Is charmed beyond setting,
The grey, faintly nubbly
Surface swooping smoothly
Through rises and long curves,
Like an invitation
To follow it somewhere.
Very clever. The best part
Of this road is to sit
Beside it, right here where
It cups the sun, chipmunks
Race across, and shadows
Lace up long afternoons
Over glowing pavement.
Wednesday, June 28, 2023
The Dark Grey Cloud Bank
Not even really an object—
An experience of the light
With ragged, shifting boundaries,
An experience that you name
As an object, a static thing.
Are live cells the only objects,
Or maybe planets, maybe stars,
Dynamic, homeostatic,
Maintaining systems apart?
That feels unsatisfactory.
The less fractal-like the border,
The more an object’s an object?
The dark grey cloud bank has taken
Over half the sky. From the jet
That’s just appeared from above it,
It’s probably a ragged edge,
Not the massed wall it seems from here.
What have we done by naming things?
Did we need language for storing,
As a way of storing meaning,
The deep past, the far future, those.
Did they begin making meaning?
Does meaning just want to go home?
The dark grey cloud bank holds its storm.
Tuesday, June 27, 2023
The Torn-Up Gut
Drowsy to the point
Of narcolepsy,
Nodding off upright,
But with a constant
Ache in the belly
And a frequent cough.
It’s not the cancer,
Not yet, but what’s left
Of the suffering
Of the surgery
To slice the tumor
And much around it
Out of the guts, then
To resew the guts
To work anyway.
They don’t. Not really.
Enough for a life.
Not enough to live
Like life’s a normal
Thing for this body
To do with itself.
So it stumbles on,
Dozing off, coughing,
Repulsed by most food
It needs to survive.
If there were a pill
To just forget it,
Just forget the crud
Settled like a brick
In the torn-up gut,
Living or dying,
But in contentment,
Not a narcotic,
Just a forget it,
That would be the best.
Give these poems a rest.
Monday, June 26, 2023
Vans
Some words are worse than archaic.
They’re broken, smeared, bits and pieces,
Like dragonfly wings on the ground.
In high-minded literature,
Such as Eliot’s “Ash Wednesday,”
You may find the archaic “vans”
Deployed, something that flaps about.
Sometimes “vans” is synonymous
With “wings,” sometimes a poor contrast,
“No longer wings . . . But merely vans
To beat the air.” Go on a hunt.
The etymology’s a mess.
There’s the sense of something in front,
Avant-garde. There’s the sense of cloth,
Which morphed, maybe, into things like
Vanes, as in weather vanes, or panes,
As of windows and so forth. But
There’s no line of descent for vans
As wings or wing-like flaps, sails, plates,
Stiff appendages for flying
Or waving in a startling way.
Vanguard. Weathervane. Window pane.
Fan? A bird’s stiff tail feathers fanned
For display. Mostly humble words
That sound familiar in English,
And van, too, when from caravan.
The poet rose on awkward vans,
However, is an ugly phrase.
The rotors of helicopters
Come to mind. Something clattering.
There’s a prosthetic feel to them.
Stiff. A substitute for real wings.
An effort more display than lift.
But it’s too late to remove vans
From the old poems now, and too late
To improve that broken wingspan.
Sunday, June 25, 2023
The Long Shoehorn
It’s just a half-meter strip of metal
With a grippy handle.
It’s something you’ve likely never
Encountered, unless, for instance,
You were recovering from a stroke
And in occupational therapy,
Where perhaps it was part of retraining
Yourself to dress yourself on your own.
You use it to slide your feet into shoes
You can’t bend over enough to reach.
It’s the epitome of a specialty tool, but
Without the odd romance of kitchen tools
Or specialty woodworking tools similarly
Rare and single functioned.
That someone would manufacture
And sell long shoehorns as—what,
Medical supplies? Orthopedic
Shoe supplies?—hints at the vast
Numerosity of current civilization.
How many people must there be
Before a niche like this exists? Tools,
In fact, are excellent guides to the density
Of a culture, of a population,
Any ecosystem of functions fitting niches.
So you should admire this oddity,
This lyrical device, this lengthy shoehorn.
Saturday, June 24, 2023
The Box
It was built to house a few
Individuals. It costs
Credits from banks to access,
Signed contracts of commitments.
Once in it, inhabitants
Naturally consider
And compare. Is this better
Than other boxes we’ve called
Our address, maybe our home?
Better in what ways? And worse
In what ways? Is it better
Than the boxes other folks
We know of consider home?
Better or worse than normal?
Is it fair that we live here?
Is this privilege? Is this
Shame? Is this the system’s fault?
The measure of our success?
What does this box mean? We sleep
And dream in this box, but why?
Each box fills up with questions.
Friday, June 23, 2023
The Ferry from Salt Lake to Zion
Every crossing, like every moment,
Is both remarkably similar
And yet, in all its details, unique.
When there is unexpected traffic
Or unexpected weather, they are
Also familiarly surprising.
The trip may have one true oddity—
The gas station that ran out of gas,
The fog that dropped from a clear blue sky—
Something to remember that trip by,
But they blend, back and forth, the long rides,
Making one crossing of all crossings,
Composed in singular memory—
No one else can know your one crossing,
Even if they joined you many times.
Thursday, June 22, 2023
The Foam
Wednesday, June 21, 2023
The Future of Inequality
For a while it was a world
Where the machines made it seem
Experience no longer
Mattered, where algorithms
Raised in homes of ghosts and dreams
Left behind by bodies but
Not in the bodies themselves
Had to weave together what they could
Without flesh to correct them.
But the old hybridity
Of DNA and syntax
Was bound to crave a redress
Of balance. Experience,
Easy to fake since the first
Liars wandered the Earth,
Tricky to authenticate,
Became more valuable
Than ever, the way paintings
Became precious investments
As photography and film
Rolled in. Inequality
Will mean those who must survive
On over-processed AI
Vs. those few who hoard
Authentic experience
Bespoke for their flesh and bones,
Whole private islands of life.
Tuesday, June 20, 2023
The Giant Octopus
If you couldn’t see something,
You wouldn’t insist it was
Impossible to witness,
But still you will attribute
Your frustration to a trait
Of whatever frustrates you.
The aquarium’s giant
Octopus has evaded
Your recognition of it
On a number of visits
Spaced over several years.
It must be the octopus,
The tricky, intelligent
Octopus—that octopus,
You say, is invisible.
Monday, June 19, 2023
The Truth of an Assertion
Sunday, June 18, 2023
The Day at Night
I don’t know about a thousand years
Or ten or even one. I’m not sure
About the next month or this one.
I savored this day that’s now night
And ready to renumber. I know
I can savor a day, down to the day.
Saturday, June 17, 2023
The Wooden One
Friday, June 16, 2023
The Little Seam
Into which an awareness
Of still being fits
Without the awareness
Of pain. It’s like a decoy
Cloak or lizard’s tail,
A jacket wriggled out of,
Leaving the predator
Holding the puzzling,
Crumpled crust of skin,
The pain that was, that let you
Slip into the little seam
Where, of course, you’ll grow
New pains to squirm out of
Next time you need to get away.
Thursday, June 15, 2023
The Mess
And you’re weak, and you’re frail,
And you’re malnourished, and
Yadda yadda, and this
Is the optimistic
Doctor saying these things,
Ticking off obstacles,
Tedious obstacles
That in your thoughts extend
To gross uncleanliness,
The deep greasiness
Of the long-distance sleeper,
The unkempt who can’t groom.
The darker doctors say
That we need to make sure
Of this before we try
That, of that before this.
Pessimistically
You’re a system flirting
With slow collapse to death.
Optimistically
You’re really just a mess.
Wednesday, June 14, 2023
The Pigeon
Seemed huge, like one
Of its own killers,
Eagle or hawk,
As a shadow
In the window
From the corner
Of your tired eye.
Imagine if
That could happen—
Terror pigeon,
Fierce predator
From waddling prey.
One afternoon
A new species,
New Lord God Bird,
New way. That way.
Tuesday, June 13, 2023
A Comfort
The best time to plant a poem
Is today. The second-best time
Remains in superposition,
Five thousand years entangled,
Fore and aft, before and since.
The shade of an ancient poem
May be tattered, but the shape
Is a miracle, like nothing
You could grow today. And the light
From the fire-splattered poem
At the end is a comfort
That says you don’t know
How long or for whom the wind
Will rustle through sibilant gestures.
Monday, June 12, 2023
The Ghost of an Eyeshade
Every time you close your eyes
You feel it like a cobweb on your face.
You reach up in your dream sleep
To adjust the shade that isn’t there,
The shade that you no longer wear.
It’s not even an object,
It’s a memory trace. The world
That helped you shut out the world,
That kept each world in its place.
Sunday, June 11, 2023
The Car in Valet Parking
It’s been there a month now.
Its owner could be dead.
It’s happened before,
The valet captain said.
It bakes like a jelly bean
Through sunny summer days.
Who knows if it will start
When it’s time to drive away.
Saturday, June 10, 2023
The Tabasco Sauce
It’s red, of course, what’s left of it.
The picnic table is green steel.
All the other tables have salt.
Presumably they were furnished.
The red against green looks handsome.
Why should it seem melancholy?
Since all the tables are empty?
Since it’s the only Tabasco?
There’s something about the remnants
Of jolly social occasions,
Something in you when you see them.
Absent humans, they’re revenants,
The ghosts of their small occasions,
But only in how you see them.
Will you never not be the child
Desirous of being alone
But sad at the signs that the group
Has long since moved on without you?
Friday, June 9, 2023
The Japanese Maple by the Cancer Center
By nightfall, this will be
The kingdom of street lamps.
Their black question marks wait
Around the garden court.
But for now, the sunlight
Picks its own favorites,
The Japanese maple,
Glowing cranberry leaves
Vivid as the palette
In a fairytale book.
When you’re not suffering
Too much, you still notice
Things like this, how the world
Is manic with beauty
At opportune moments.
Thursday, June 8, 2023
The Being
In the hospital with cancer,
Having pushed your wheelchair as close
As could to one sunny window,
The compound memories of days,
Whole days, alone on the mesa
Under a sun-struck juniper,
Lizard basking, browsing through books,
Working on phrases, grasshoppers
Stuttering in the high, dry grass,
Appear hallucinatory,
Pure shimmering in retrospect,
The oak-mantled, rolling cliff tops
Like an arena around you,
An empty arena, full up
With sunlight. That you lived,
That you were ever so fortunate
As to have lived whole days like that,
The being at peace in pale shade.
Wednesday, June 7, 2023
The Hound of Hades
Tuesday, June 6, 2023
The Three Cataclysms
Monday, June 5, 2023
The Points of Pride
Accuracy in depiction
Suggesting experience
Outside power advertised
Through artistic commissions
Big concepts beyond the bounds
Weather read storms bad sun good
Sunday, June 4, 2023
The Charge
Each fleck of cell
Might as well be
A battery,
More negative
Inside than out.
Yay, batteries.
Yay, enduring
Life’s existence,
The whole planet
A battery
More negative
Inside than out.
How patterns work
At leaving form
And punching life.
Now, the question—
At how many
Scales can you
Have batteries,
More negative
Inside than out?
Saturday, June 3, 2023
The Landing Cake
He visits. He talks briskly
With his post-operative
Patients, but listen closely—
He’s flying by instruments,
Adjusting the recipes—
Salt is down? Ease back elsewhere.
White blood cells up, just a titch?
Bring up the meropenem.
It feels paradoxical,
To improvise by numbers,
By the seat of his distance.
Friday, June 2, 2023
The Glass Place
A word, if we may, a cough.
Outside, evening light rolls in.
Inside, more lines roll along.
Tie those breakers to the shore.
Waters rise off of the Earth,
To evaporate in space.
Where should those waters have been,
Have evaporated home
From in the first, glaucous, place?
Thursday, June 1, 2023
The World’s Unintended
The world’s consequences
Are all unintended,
None inconsequential,
Whether braided in packs
Or packed in storms, including
Those that were intended
And happened to occur
And led to the biggest
Consequences of all—
Unintended belief
That some consequences
Descend from intention.